Who Am I Without You Episode 1
My name is Damilola Balogun or should I say Damilola Oluwagbesan. I have almost forgotten how my father’s name sounded along with my name. Three months ago, my divorce from my husband or should I say Ex-husband was finalized. Right now, I am single but not searching. I have learnt my lesson but it had to be the hard way.
It all started 12 years ago when I met this fine, young, Yoruba boy. Our high school days were sweet because I fell for not just his looks, but his intelligence; we were actually in love.
Two years later on the night of our high school graduation he asked me to marry him. We were both 18 years old and was thinking what the hell? let’s do it! We had to do it; I was already 2 months pregnant. He promised to take care of us, and never ever allow me beg for nothing. Which girl wouldn’t want that? so I said yes!
The wedding happened so fast. Before we could even finish our honeymoon, my honeymoon; Bolu went off to the university. He was gone, and I was here at home taking care of myself and our baby. Bolu would call every now and then. He would ask after his child and then me. I wondered sometimes how much fun he was having over there in the university. People told me to just forget him, some said I need to move on with my life, but how could I? My baby was keeping me occupied so I never really thought I was missing out on anything.
Bolu graduated 5 years later. He got a fine paying job at this oil company, and our life was well set off. I always knew he would make it big in life with that brain of his. I stayed patiently waiting for him because I knew our future would be bright. At the age of 26 I was already driving one of the best cars in the roads of Lagos not to mention my bank account which was overflowing. I lived in a house that was as big as all my worries. Even when we walked into a room people saw us as a power couple like the kinds of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pit, just without all the kids, and somethig else I did not know was missing.
One night, we had a petty argument about the rumors have been hearing. He denied having anything to do with her and I didn’t push on the issue. My mom called me later on that my father was very ill and I needed to rush to the hospital. When I got to the hospital, my dad’s condition was not improving at all. Two weeks later he gave up and left us. I ran home with a heavy heart that faithful night.
When I got home, Bolu was not there. I called him to ask where he was. He said to me “Baby, am not coming back.”
The next morning, I thought this was all a dream, till my mom called that they were making funeral arrangement already for my dad. So if my father was truly gone then this is not a dream? My husband just left me!
At first I must say that the shock of both news almost make me go crazy. I could hear my mom still talking on the phone “Hope you and your husband will be coming soon, we need you both.” In her tiny voice before she started crying. I wanted to tell my mom what was happening to my home right now, but I was not about to add to the woman’s burden. So I kept quiet, I held it all in for another day.
For days, I kept trying to call Bolu thinking maybe this was a prank or some sick joke. Everything about him was erased from our house. It was as if he was never there, and I was living this fantasy life alone. My dad’s funeral day came, I told everyone Bolu was off on a very important business trip, and was unable to make it. I could hear some of my friend’s whispers, “Maybe there is trouble in paradise.”
When I got home from the funeral, I had divorce papers waiting for me at my door step. To think he would be nice, and not put all this pressure on me was an understatement. I held the papers in my hands and thought to myself “So all the rumors where true, he was really unfaithful after all this years.” I was never the kind to argue so I never pushed on the issues because I never wanted to upset him. Bolu promised me forever. I did not even want to believe what was going on. I thought we were fine. He came home at the right time, loved me at night, and never once complained. So what in the world would make him do this to me now? I loved him in every way I possible could. I kept the house clean for him and gave him a healthy son. I lived my life through his eyes. Where did I ever go wrong? I started to cry. I was so sick and frustrated with myself. I remembered how I joined his family into looking for money for him to attend the university. I stole from my parents who were bearing making ends meet; I sold everything valuable I had with me at that time just so his admission would go through. What is going to happen to me now? I am 27 years old, and my husband just walked out on me.
I started to look around our house for documents on our properties which he kept well hidden. Did I even have a right to anything? He never allowed me to work. I was so comfortable in the life his made for me. I did not have any body to run too; friends would laugh at me. They already started laughing since the rumors were flying around that he was cheating.
On the day we were asked to come to court, I saw a young lady standing next to him; standing next to my man. She was fair in complexion; her body was that of a girl pulled out from a magazine cover; she was perfect. When she spoke, one could easily tell she was from a wealthy family. She moved around comfortably in her own skin. It made me wonder if this was what I was missing in my life. But what was bothering me was the fact that he even had the guts to bring her to court. They both watched as his lawyers screamed at me. Oh they were very good! They made me feel so stupid for never going to school, and starting a life of my own. They said I was just like every other Naija babe, where we see there is money, we never want to leave. Bolu testified to the fact that I have never ever worked a day in my life. Everything I had was handed to me by him. I wanted to scream at him, “Why did you not let me go back to school then?” If this was the problem then it would have been easily settled. I just wanted someone in that room to explain to me why we were here. What reasons did Bolu really say he had for wanting to leave me now?
The divorce was taking longer than expected. During those days of waiting, I kept up hope that maybe he would come back to his senses and fix all this. He never once thought about what this would do to our child. How do I explain to him why daddy has not been coming home for some months now? It hurts me every day when our little boy would expect daddy to take him to school but he was not available. One day, Dare asked me, “Mom, is daddy ever coming back?” I was as shocked as to why he would even think about something like that. I realized my effort at trying to not get him involved in all this was impossible. I thought I would finally wake up one night, and all this would be some sick nightmare. I never really got the chance to mourn my father’s death, and now am left with a broken home. The judge told me almost in capital letters that if I did not look for a job within the next 5 months, I would lose my child. I moved back in with my mother, I could not bear to be alone. My mom could not believe what was going on. Her biggest worry was that she lost a very wealthy son in-law. There was absolutely no one on my side.
One Friday at a super market, I saw Bu. I noticed there was another person next to him. When the person he was with turned around, my heart dropped; she was heavy with child. My guess was that she was already about 6 months gone. She had to be already pregnant while I was still married to Bolu. It was the same girl he brought along with here to court. So Bolu is now planning a new family, what about the one he left behind? I felt like screaming from all the rage inside of me. They saw me and just kept walking as if I was a stranger. Bolu did not even give me a second glance.
I had finally had enough!