The Sacred Bride
Bunmi B. Gabriel
I remained on the floor unable to get my unfortunate self off the ground, my hair was a mess, a great mess and I wore a terrible clown makeup to frustrate dad for bringing me here to get insulted. My life is ruined, my dignity have been thrown away and I’m ruined!
‘Leila, aren’t you getting up?’ Bloom asked chucklingly.
‘I’m in love with this floor,’ I muffled.
‘Leila, get up.’ Dad snapped, I still didn’t get up.
‘Babe, you okay?’ I heard him chuckle as he came to me. ‘You look a little bit flat,’
‘Ha!’ Odyn laughed. Eric pulled me up, I couldn’t look into his eyes for fear of embarrassment.
‘Eric, hi,’ I said nervously. ‘How ya doing?’
‘What happened to your face? Did you get hit by a makeup truck?’
‘I got punched by the angel of clowntivity,’ of all the folly! Run Leila! Run!
I tried to run but my feet were rooted to the ground, Dark!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
So there I was, sitting opposite Eric at the dinning table, he announced that we were dating but that wasn’t my problem. I couldn’t eat, one, mom and I poisoned the food and two, I look like a freak. Bloom and mom kept making indirect statement about my look to embarrass me more and the next is that the other completely quiet guy who is much more hotter was staring at me. My face was amusing to him, two hot guys got to see this!
‘So,’ Bloom slurred, folding her hands under her chin with a mischievous smile and twinkling of her lashes. ‘Eric, right?’
‘Yes, I already said that about a hundred times.’
‘How did you meet Leila? You haven’t told us how you met the beautifully dressed angel over there.’ Mom added smirkingly.
‘Well,’ Eric sipped the drink first. ‘We met in a club,’
‘Eh?’ I asked dumbly.
‘We don’t need to lie Leila, I first saw her at a club, dancing to a song like a stripper. I was standing at the VIP section staring down at her as she danced in the most enchanting way, so beautiful. When she was dancing, her eyes were balls of excited fires, her smile brighter than the morning sun. She was happy just dancing there like she and the pole were meant to be, like they were in love,’ he winked at me. The look in his eyes showed that he wasn’t lying, but when? ‘I was mesmerised by that, the first thing that attracted m to her.’
‘I can believe that, she dances a lot,’ dad smiled proudly.
‘But you didn’t go down to her, did you?’
‘I didn’t at first,’
‘I remember the day we went clubbing with her and she got drunk,’ Odyn said, this is payback night. ‘She was dancing very well, not until she danced to a table and started singing about the size of her pantie,’ eh, when!
‘Oh!’ Bloom exclaimed. ‘I remember that day very well!’ I stared at her pleadingly, she shouldn’t embarrass me too. ‘She even took it off that day and started swinging it in the air, I remember the song, Odyn do you?’
‘Sing it,’ mom said excited.
‘No! I didn’t do anything like that!’ I yelled distraughtly.
‘Put your pants up in the air
Air air air
Fling em like you swing your hair
Hair hair hair yeah yeah…’ Bloom sang.
‘Oh if it’s oversized
Don’t worry I won’t mind
It doesn’t have to fit all time
Mine is extra large….’ Odyn sang. Eric wiggled his brows at me, Bernice was laughing silently.
‘You seriously sang about your underwear?’ Eric asked chucklingly. I sank under the dinning table, I hate my life. Dark appeared in front of my face.
‘Should I get you acid?’ He whispered.
‘Go away,’ I whined.
‘Leila why are you hiding, don’t be shy. Isn’t he your boyfriend anymore?’ Mom asked laughingly. ‘I’m sure there’s nothing there he haven’t seen,’ Eric coughed, spluttering his drink out. ‘What? Am I lying?’ I came out from under the table.
‘Keep quiet, it’s nothing I don’t know, I’ve been there.’
‘Doretta,’ dad whispered.
‘Don’t even start, should I die in silence? I want to talk and I must talk.’
‘Not in front of guests! You are all embarrassing me!’ Dad yelled angrily, almost rising out of his seat. Mom pushed him back down.
‘Are you calling us embarrassment? Mr. Alisdair,’ she turned to the hot guy. ‘Do you mind us being normal?’
‘I came here for business, I really don’t understand why I’m listening to things I shouldn’t hear,’
‘Keep quiet, you and your blockhead,’
‘Mom!’ Bloom called shockingly.
‘What? You can speak? When adults are speaking, children don’t talk.’ Bloom face paled out, mom was about to face her.
‘I’m sorry,’ she apologized shakily.
‘No way, let me finish. Why are you defending that frying pan face? Is he giving you heads behind closed door? Oh I get it, you are working as his PA. What are you assisting him personally with? Are you assisting him to screw your….’
‘Oh God, mom….’ She cried, covering her face. Mr. Alis was quiet, staring at Bloom with a plain face.
‘Alis, what is my daughter assisting you with? The last time I checked which was last month, she was still a virgin….’
‘Mom!’ We all shouted.
‘What?’ She asked frowningly. Bloom sank under the table, I looked down at him.
‘Welcome to the club,’ I smirked. She whimpered.
‘It’s not a crime being a virgin, is it?’ Mom continued. ‘I lost mine at 13, damn! His d!¢k was long! Leila didn’t you almost died after your first s£× with that kid whose head looks like a toilet brush?’ I went under the table too.
‘Doretta, please,’ dad pleaded almost tearily.
‘Oh,’ Eric groaned holding his stomach. ‘Can I use the restroom?’
‘No,’ mom said sharply.
‘Second floor to the right, yellow door.’ Dad sighed.
‘If you use my bathroom, I will use you to wash the toilet,’ mom warned seriously.
‘But my stomach….’
‘Sit down there and finish your food,’ she looked at Alis. ‘Is your stomach made of stone?’
‘Did you poison the food?’ Alis asked with a little shock.
‘Yes, what can you do? Kill me?’
‘Doretta, what is wrong with you!’
‘You forced me to cook! I hate cooking!’
‘Why won’t you cook! You are the wife!’
‘W-I-F-E, wife. M-A-I-D, maid, you don’t know the difference because your head is filled with rice water.’
‘I’m serious here, I am this close to dying,’ Eric complained, using his f!ng£rs to exaggerate. ‘Leila!’
‘Come with me,’ I said standing up sharply, a chance to get away.
‘Leila, if he uses my toilet, you won’t like what I will do to you.’
‘Challenge accepted,’ I led him to the bathroom, it was an opportunity to wash my face and dress my hair. He hurried to the bathroom ahead of me, ran in and shut the door.
‘Look on the bright side, you can tease him too.’ Dark said grinningly, I rolled my eyes.
‘This is not a good way to start a relationship, please remove this mess from my face.’
‘Will you help me?’
‘Sing that pantie song again,’ he laughed.
‘I can make it even if you let me, just cancel the contract and I will help you.’ The offer was tempting, very tempting.
‘I can look over this embarrassment,’
‘Will he?’ I looked at the door, what if he mentions it later? I can’t have a stain. I bit my lower lip thoughtfully.
‘Okay, called off, help me.’
‘Good,’ he flowed into the door, I pressed my hands together patiently, waiting for what will happen. Loud, as in very loud fart sounds blared from the bathroom, mixed with horrible stench. I stepped back covering my nose, yes! Dark, I love you.
I stayed there waiting for him, laughing silently. He flushed the toilet, fee minutes later, he came out, he was shocked to see me still standing there. He stayed rooted at the door, holding the doorknob with his hand and one leg still in air.
‘Let’s make an agreement, never we speak of this day again, deal?’
‘We never met,’ he scurried off. Dark showed up, swinging his tail proudly.
‘I love you,’ I said with a dramatic crying voice and hugged him. ‘Tomorrow, I will hate you back but tonight, I’m proud of you.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘You smell more than his fart,’ I pushed him off and knocked his head.
‘Guess what, we aren’t under a contract no more,’ my body whipped the wall, my head hurt. He ran to the living room, dragging me on the floor, it hurts so much. I rolled into the living room where everyone was, they all looked at me.
‘Leila,’ mom called puzzledly.
‘What are you doing?’
‘Er, mopping the floor?’ I said nervously.
‘Stand up,’ I stood up and dusted my dress. ‘Sit.’ I walked to the chair beside Bloom who was meticulously jotting what Alis and dad were talking about and sat down.
‘Guess what?’ Dark sang in my head, not again.
‘Eric, why don’t you come sit here with me,’ mom said sweetly, patting the space beside her gently. ‘I’m not begging you, come here.’ She commanded, Eric sighed and stood up to join mom. He sat down with a fake smile.
‘Here’s a whole photo album of your girlfriend when she was younger, she had potbelly.’ My eyes widened while she smirked. Eric gladly took it, this is the worse night of my life.
Eric was laughing as mom humiliated Leila with her embarrassing album, mom never keeps good pictures like every reasonable normal human mother should, she derives joy in humiliating us. See what she did back there, who does that! Hopefully, Alis won’t care. But if anyone invites me to a dinner, I will throw myself off a skyscraper and die, full stop.
‘This is when she stooled on herself when she saw a horror movie, see the stains….’
‘This is the time she was going to have her first secret klzz with a guy in my house, she sneezed on his….hey! See the time she came out n@k£d from the shower! See her growing br£@sts, are you seeing the two little seeds?’
‘Mom please, stop,’ she said tearily. ‘Please….’
‘Give birth to me and you can tell me what to do,’ she flipped the page. ‘This is the time she got a haircut, see her ball head?’
‘Thank you Mr. Kendrick, I am very glad you accepted my offer.’ Dad’s words made me focus on him. I’m dead! Alis said to jot down the account of the meeting thoroughly as my first assignment, I lost track halfway.
‘I haven’t accepted yet,’ he said coldly. ‘I will get back to you on that,’ he stood up and looked at me. ‘Hope you got everything written down?’ I gulped and nodded. ‘Good, print it out and first thing on Monday morning, deliver it to Estella to add to the important records, is that clear?’
‘Eric, walk.’ He walked out, that was cold, why did Eric tag along in the first place. Bigger problem, I didn’t write….I wrote half. I checked my work.
‘Holy mother of Neptune!’ I exclaimed when I saw what I wrote, I whimpered.
‘What?’ Dad asked standing up to see Alis who was already out off.
‘Nothing, I will see him out myself.’ I stood up and ran outside, I was busy describing how s£×y he was. I reached him and blocked his way.
‘What is it?’
‘I came to apologize for my family’s bad behavior, how we acted, especially my mom.’
‘It was really amusing to watch, I must admit,’ he said calmly, offering me a little smile. The way he was blinking his eyes slowly, so cute!
‘Will you marry me?’ I blunted out, I gasped and cupped my mouth. ‘I’m sorry sir, I meant will you pretend that this dinner never happened? Like everything?’ I asked nervously, dropping my hands.
‘The book,’ he said stretching his hand to me.
‘Sir?’ I squeaked.
‘Let me see what you wrote down,’ he repeated slowly like he was talking to an idiot. I stepped back, hiding the book behind my back. ‘You didn’t write anything.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I apologized.
‘What am I going to do with you,’ he sighed.
‘Technically, I wasn’t suppose to resume work until Monday so I’m free from all punishment,’ I said cockily.
‘Monday,’ was all he said before he walked out on me. Why do I feel like I just signed my death certificate?’
‘Eric, please leave!’ Leila shouted as she pushed him out.
‘What,’ he drawled laughingly. ‘I love your memories, it’s catchy.’
‘We never met.’ To cut the entire long….very long story short, they left and now Leila and I were locked up in her room, on her bed, staring at the ceiling and mourning our miserable life.
‘I hate mom,’ she finally spoke. ‘I have never been this embarrassed in my entire life,’ she sobbed. ‘I can’t believe this happened to me, Leila.’
‘Here,’ I passed the book over to her, that will stop her from crying. ‘When my boss said write meeting, I wrote that.’ She took the book and opened it.
‘OMG! He’s so hot!’ Leila squealed the way I wrote it, she turned on her stomach in excitement. ‘The first time I saw him was in a suit but now he’s sporting a tight sleek shirt and bad boy jacket, look at his muscles! I’m in love! I’m in love! His lips are so klzzable! I wanna rip off my stupid outfit and klzz him allover….. Bloom are you drunk?’ She laughed.
‘I don’t know,’
‘Payback for joining in humiliating me,’ she said slyly. ‘Mom!’ She shrieked, my heart skipped. ‘Bloom wrote a love letter!’ And she was gone. I panicked, I’m dead!
This is the worse day of my life.