OH THIS MY HUSBAND
Hmmmm, Pastor turned and face me,
Ahhh, I won’t escape this too…..
To my saving grace, there was a knock on the door, it was Sister Hamet, my landlady also the owner of the best hospital in the area.
Pastor simply went back to quietly speaking in tongues phase.
Sister Hamet examined Mrs. Accord and recommended she follow her straight away to the hospital.
Brother Accord didn’t allow his wife to walk. He lifted her up fully from the ground in one sweep. It was as if he was carrying paper.
God saved my husband from this mountainous man. He would have grounded my husband into fine powder.
Sister Hamet led the couple to her ambulance waiting outside and off they went.
Right within me I heaved a sigh of relief, one of my husband’s purported new wives had just left. The way Brother Accord and his wife had been making up, it is evident that they are both sorry and would do all it takes to mend the fences.
There was another set of crying, this time it is from Bose. It was because she was finally being loved by the one person that had denied her the right love.
Her father had just given her the first hug she can remember since she was five years of age.
I could hear him telling her that he was proud that she passed her exams in secondary school and many more praises to the girl.
She was crying and laughing at the same time. For the first time since I had known her, her face was shining.
Hmmmm, I didn’t know that the words of appreciation from a parent can have so much effect on a child this much.
It’s easy to complain about a child’s errors but it takes real parenting to seek out the positive qualities in every child.
Bose knelt down to beg her father for forgiveness and mercy. He lifted her up again and told her “I have missed out on being a loving supportive father, don’t waste time apologizing, let’s go home, your mother needs to learn what I have learnt today”.
We bade then farewell and it remains Pastor’s family and mine.
Hmm, I can’t escape the next set of revelations.
Well, I am the writer of this story, so please let me digress a little. Let me defend myself before I tell you what Pastor said about me.
I am not a bad wife o. At least I have seen other wives that are really very wicked. I have not been wicked to this man.
Like every other woman, I nag. I am not the worse of nagging women, I just don’t like the fact that when I talk, my husband takes time before he gives me responses.
I can repeat the same issue every day for the next one month till he does it. Not really nagging, it’s just that I prefer things done fast.
You still think I nag? Well whatever, think whatever you like!!!🙄
That takes me to the second point, I hate it when I am always being corrected by my husband.
Haba, I’m not a fool now, didn’t scientist say women are smarter than men? Why must he always try to correct me. Many times, I know what I’m doing.
The third issue is that I don’t like it when I am correcting my husband and he is not changing. It can be very frustrating.
Why are you looking at me like that, I’m only saying the truth now!!!
Well if you think I’m being melodramatic, whatever🙄!!!
The fourth thing my husband complains about is that my mouth can’t keep quiet. This is one thing I don’t understand.
I am very good at keeping secrets but this man just wants to look for reasons to blame me.
Let me give you an instance, he told me he wanted to buy a land. That we shouldn’t tell anyone. I didn’t tell anyone.
I only told my family members, his family members and our neighbors. these people are close to us. Are they not supposed to be part of our secret?
Can’t you see that this man is only looking for reasons to quarrel?
The one that beats me is that my husband won’t face his own issues. He would be complaining that my bra and pant aren’t same color or that they aren’t s£×y.
Abeg, is anyone going to see my n@k£dness? Is he not my husband? Am I supposed to be dressing s£×ually for my own husband? Haven’t we seen ourselves n@k£d? Why must I dress seductively inside my own house when I’m not a model?
And that leads me to his last complain. s£×! s£×!! s£×!!!.
Please help me ask him, is s£× food? He was begging me to start giving him s£× at least once every week. I was flabbergasted. four solid times a month. That is thirty-six times a year. Haba!!!
He kept saying a normal couple should have s£× minimum of ten times a month, that will be one hundred and twenty times a year. Won’t my woman part catch fire?
I have told him that he has a carnal mind and must learn to control himself.
I am a wife who is always available for s£× every time I have my ovulation but he is always not ready. No wonder we can’t conceive!!!
Can you imagine, many of the points up there do not make any logical sense.
Should a man now get angry because of these very little issues?
Wait!!! Are you in anyway blaming me?
Hmmmm, I understand the men blaming me, birds of the same feather.
What about women? are you also pointing f!ng£rs at me?
Can you honestly blame a good woman like me?
Do you not know I changed my name to his name; I left my family for his own, I cook his food and always ready for s£× once every month?
And you can still accuse me of not doing enough?
MY REPORT CARD
Hmmmm, I can’t escape the next set of revelations.
Pastor turned and face me, his eyes steadily looking at my direction but not quite seeing me.
I could imagine some angelic figure opening up the pages of my life for the reading pleasure of Pastor.
Sister Joy! He called.
Yes sir I replied….
You made the house into a battle front, you converted your husband into a competitor, you failed in the major instruction given to women…
Simply submit to your husband.
Your mouth is too sharp, let it become quiet in humility coolval stories .
Your education is making you proud, submit it in humility
Your body is no longer your own, submit it in humility.
You are the wife and not the husband, so submit as a wife.
Why do you think your prayers had not been answered all these years, simply because heaven will never answer the prayers of a woman who had not first submitted to her husband?
Your prayers in the last one month was answered because you had started submitting.
If only women knew that submission works faster than prayers, a lot of men won’t get away with the way they treat their issues.
Finally, he turned to my husband and said.
Men who God wants to use are the ones that misbehave most. God wants to use you. Surrender to him today.
God’s mercy will turn your mess to a message,
If you bow to God now, men will bow to you too.
My husband went on to lie flat on the floor despite the pains.
Pastor Mrs. motioned to me to go close to my husband. I went to kneel down beside my husband and Pastor prayed for us.
As soon as the prayers were concluded, my husband spoke for the first time in hours.
My dear wife, I am deeply sorry, I have wronged you and your soul. I have broken every trust a wife should have in a man. I have brought disgrace to our marriage and I have stained you with scandal. I am no more worthy to be called a husband….. Please forgive me.
Haaaaaa heeeeee huuuuu hiiiii
I burst into tears, I started wailing again, ooh how can I fight a man lying down before me, begging…..
I moved close to him, held him and said;
My husband, my head I am very sorry too, I had not been the best wife, I had not submitted as I should. Please forgive me.
In tears, as delicate as possible…. I hugged my husband too, both of us were crying.
We didn’t know when Pastor and his wife left.
After a while I lifted my husband up to a sitting position. I sat by his side and made him to place his head on my laps.
Hmm, the last time I held him like this was when he was hospitalized. As soon as he got well, he went back to his old ways.
Will it be different this time?
We both slept off.
I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing.
Alfred was calling, oops! in all these troubles, my husband didn’t go to work.
Alfred is one of my husband’s co-womanizers. Another bad influence for my husband.
Hello Joy; he said.
Hello Mr. Alfred, my husband is not available now; I replied him to dismiss him.
Oh ok; He replied: I have been trying your husband’s number, it’s not going through.
Please help me to tell him that losing his job is not the end of the world. I was sacked too. He shouldn’t do anything stupid ooo
Just when I thought God has forgiven us.
I tapped my husband…. Oga wake up.
OH THIS MY HUSBAND
As soon as my husband was awake enough to understand what I was saying I asked him again for the seventeenth time…
Oga, which work are we doing?
He looked at me confused; I wasn’t in the mood to explain anything.
I asked again which work are you doing sir, which office are you working at? Which job do you have right now?
He looked surprised that I already knew about his job loss.
I am currently in between jobs; he said.
Please don’t patronize me; I replied him.
What exactly is happening here? Do we have a job in this house or we are jobless? I asked again more assertive.
Please try to understand, like I said before I am currently in between jobs. He still replied.
The look on my face showed that I’m not buying that explanation, so he continued.
Two weeks ago, for no just reason, I was sacked in the office.
I had the best appraisal; I was already being considered for promotion.
The company didn’t have a cogent reason for sacking me. I was just sacked.
The only explanation I can find for being sacked in the office was that you have probably cursed me. My husband said.
Ahhhhh, this discussion will not be between us alone. We need to take this to Pastor; I replied him.
Just when I thought all was over.
That was when it dawned on me, that all the things that Pastor asked me to do all this while, that looked so foolish was actually a revelation.
It is actually beyond the wisdom of this world. All I did in the last one month was not to say bad things to my husband.
I also submitted to him in his absence. I respected him even without him being around me.
Without just doing anything, God rendered him jobless. That number one thing that he has been using to brag all this while.
His position as bread winner was taken away without me asking…
Wow, God is good.
I stood up from my husband’s side and went to the kitchen to prepare a meal for him.
This meal was not to celebrate the loss of a job, we will deal with that later.
This meal was to celebrate God fighting for a small girl like me without me lifting a f!ng£r.
I don’t need to be fighting this man again all I need to do is submit totally as a wife and then God will fight for me.
I whipped up a very nice delicious meal.
I served my husband like a king, with all the best cutleries in the house.
I set the intercontinental dish on the table with napkins. Just the way it’s being done in a 7-star restaurant.
I assisted my husband to the table.
I told him; Eat the food my darling husband.
He was looking at me.
When I turned my back to him to switch on the dining light, I could see my husband perceiving the food as if to determine if poison had been added to the meal prepared.
I chuckled within me, now the hunter has become the hunted.
Now that he is afraid to eat my food, I sat down beside him and served him and myself.
I blessed the food and started eating.
I noticed he was still not eating; he was looking at me with wonder mixed with fear on his face.
I was beginning to get worried myself, have I carried this act too far that he is now so much afraid of me?
Ok oga, what happened? why are you afraid to eat? As you can see, I’m eating the food too; I asked him.
My husband started shedding quiet tears.
My husband, I have forgiven you, I have let go of the issues. What is it again?
Are you feeling pains where you were hurt? I asked him and at the same time I stood up from my chair to check if the injuries in his body is causing him discomfort.
That same instance my husband went down on his knees with obvious pains but neglecting the pains just to kneel before me.
No no no no no don’t kneel for me; I am just your wife. I have forgiven you and let go the matter.
Let’s leave this issue please, the future is more important to me than the past.
God had fought for me. I am happy and I know our future can be better. Please stand up; I told him.
Please my wife, I am sorry. I am very sorry. I have one more confession to make and this will hurt you.
Oh my God!!! Just when I thought my nightmare was over, we are still confessing….
Ok oh….. Oga let me hear it ooo
Then he dropped the bomb shell.
Men can be wicked