I pulled back from the kiss and ran upstairs
What if he was actually using me.
He didn’t love me then why is he kissing me
I made sure I locked the door well before I settled in for a mind blowing cry. I rolled on the floor and cried. This time. I Didn’t care if he heard my voice. I had to cry. It was hurtful I was hurt. Crying was the only way of easing it.
My phone rang on the bed and i rub my tears sniffing. I stand up from the floor and move to my bed.
I bang the phone on the bed as I cry more. Why does he have to call by this time? He was right. I might end up getting hurt. I might regret this and i partially do. Infact I really do
The phone rang again and i rubbed my tears and cleared my throat
“Hey Indigo!”he said with a very happy tone. He had started calling me Indigo since today
“Hi..”I said swallowing hard
“I called you 6times. I figured out to should have be through with Barry’s birthday, but I guess no..”
“Yeah.”I said shortly
“So are you done with the party now?”he asked
There wasn’t any party. I’ll like to tell him
“Are you okay? You sound worried..”
I cover the speaker of my phone with my palm as I burst out in tears I couldn’t control. He musnt hear me cry. No. I sniffed and rubbed my tears
“I..I’m okay..”I managed to appear bold but it didn’t work
“Violet? Are you crying?”he asked and this time around I burst out in tears. I quickly put my phone under my pillow as I cry out loud. Barry hurt me. I want to die. I love him.
“Violet please talk to me!”I heard under the pillow
I brought out my phone again
“It’s nothing Jade..just.. some..minor menstrual cramps”i lied with my shaky voice
“It does not sound like it..are you sure?”
“Jade there’s. Nothing to worry about. I’m okay”
“No you’re not.whats wrong?”
“Barry…”my voice choked and I covet the speaker again as my voice croaked
“What’s up with Barry?”he asked
“Never mind! It’s sort of personal”
“Violet please talk to me. I’m worried”
“He..doesn’t ..love …me..”I cried and hung up. I didn’t want to hear what he wanted to say next. I didn’t want him to pity me.
My phone rang again and I switch it off. I need my personal time.
I kept staring at the ceiling since when I woke up. It was hard for me to even cry. I was trying to force it but it wasn’t coming. I was just dumbfounded. I was nakedly lying lifeless on my bed. This teenage girl has just gotten her feelings hurt by a 27 year old accountant.
I checked my wristwatch for the time. It was 8:30am. I was double late for Classes, but who cares? I am not in the mood for classes
And I don’t want to stay in Barry’s car
Barry must have left for work a long time ago. I purposely stayed indoor to make him leave. I lazily stand up and look at myself in the mirror. My eyes were swollen already. I knew I had cried my eyes out. I move to the bathroom to take a shower.
When I had dressed I took my phone and bag and left my room.
I move downstairs to the sitting room and stopped at my track. I look at the floor staring at a lifeless Barry. He was lying on the floor lifelessly with his hands spread out. Bottles of alcoholic drinks surrounded him.
He was still in the same clothes he wore for his birthday yesterday. The sitting room was still the way it was..the way I scattered it yesterday. Left over foods, birthday card, smashed apple laptop, lights, drinks…
Did he get himself drunk.
Was he sad about what happened yesterday?
Oh. I wish he was!
Why is he this drunk
I knelt down beside him and touch his cheeks. I still cared. I wouldn’t get angry and still leave him this way
He groan and shift at my touch and a tear drop from my eye.
He was looking useless. He hadn’t slept in his room. He hadn’t even gone to work.
Was he sorry?
Sorry for what?
Sorry he didn’t love me?
This is so absurd.
Why do I still care for him when he doesn’t even love me
Why do I still feel pity when all he does is dream about Jennifer
I stood up and moved to go
“Vee…”I heard him call. I quickly rubbed the stream of tears that suddenly came to my eyes
I turned to face him
“Violet..”he called again
“I’m sorry..”he whispered. I gnash my teeth together to ease the pain I felt inside of me
Saying sorry makes me hurt.
I walk out of the sitting room and when I got outside. I ran and cried.
“How was his birthday!”Ella asked me the most hurtful question. I look at her and then at Bob and Jade. We were at the canteen for lunch. Jade has been quiet. He hadn’t even disturbed me since I came to school. He just kept staring at me every second. Ella doesn’t know what was wrong. Neither Bob.
“His birthday..”I gave a smile. “..you should have been there”
“Aww. Are you serious. I would have come. But you guys really need your privacy!”
“Yeah we did!”I have her another smile
“So tell me..did he kiss you..”she teased
I laughed. This time it wasn’t a fake laugh. I actually laughed because it came from inside of me. The way she teased me about it made me laugh
Jade stared at me with emotional eyes and later smile when he saw me laugh
“Of course he did!”I found myself blush. Yeah Barry kissed me. It was emotional, but I would really love it if we were both in love
“Aww.”she gushed and laughed along with Bob.
I smile and there was silence. Gosh I hate silence
“So..”my voice trailed
“What’s up with you and Bob!”o winked at her
“Er..”she jerked me
“Yeah. I noticed too..what’s up with you two”Jade finally spoke out
“Well nothing much! We just settled our differences!”Bob said
“With a make out at the laboratory hun?”I teased and they both gasped. Jade chuckled
“Come on. I saw you guys. I even made a video!”
“Oh my Gosh. Delete that!”Bob shouted
“No..no..I’ll like to watch it again!”Ella said and we laughed.
“Hey Bob!”Tina moved to our table
“Hi Tina!”Bob replied with a smile. Ella frown
“About the assignment..help me with it please..at my house”
“Sure”Ella replied instead
“Er.. I was talking to Bob!”
“You know Tina..Bob is a little Dull..so it’s okay..I’ll help you with it”
“You don’t have to worry Tina..Ella will help you with it!”Jade replied supporting Ella
Tina looked at Jade and gasped
“Denix Jade!”she screamed “…you talked to me?!”she shouted again
“Why don’t you help me with the assignment instead!”she asked. He coughed and laughed
“I’m sorry..I need to do something!”he said
“Urgh!”she scoffed “Okay Ella..at my house..we would discuss the pay later!”
“Sure. Tuna”she teased and Tina scoffed
“Urgh..i won’t be helping that Tina if it weren’t because of you!”
“At least you relieved me of a great burden. She has been stalking me like forever!”
“Why don’t you two go take walk outside”Jade said
“Hmmmn. That’s nice!”Ella said and dragged Bob along with her. I chuckled as I look at them as the left and my eyes met Jade’s
He was staring firmly at me.
“Are you okay?”he asked me
“If you keep asking me then..I won’t be okay!”I replied
“Who is he in love with?”
“His best friend.. Jennifer”I tried to be neutral with no emotion
“He’s an asshole for deceiving you!”he bang the table
“Don’t call him an asshole!”I snapped
“You still care for him? I can’t believe that!”
“He didn’t deceive me..i fell for him and took his care for love..he only took me as a younger sister”
“Forget it Jade..”I smile at him “I okay now hun?”
“Can I have a date with you this night?”
“Please.. I want to make you smile…I owe you that!”
“You don’t owe me anything Jade..this is my life!”
“I’m your friend right? Please just a date!”
“Hmmn”I sighed “that’s okay! After school then!”
“Thanks for making smile”I said to Jade in the car
“Thanks for going out with me”he smirked “I’m sorry for making it this late”he apologized
“It’s okay..”I said. He parked in front of my house and I opened the door.
“No..”he said and I closed it back. He got down from the car and move to the other side to open the door for me
I chuckled “Gentle man hun?”
“Thanks”I said again and got down. He shut the door behind me and we stared
“Don’t get hurt again..it doesn’t suit you!”
“If I don’t..how will you console me?”I said. He rolled his eyes and we both laughed
“Haha. Get hurt then!”he smirks and I smile
He stared at me and moved closer
“I still love you Violet!”
“And I still Love Barry too”
“Can you stop loving someone that won’t love you back?”
“Can you also stop loving someone that won’t love you back?”
“I can’t..”he whispered
“I can’t too..”I whispered and a tear rolled down my cheek
“I don’t know what Barry has done to me..but I still can’t get rid of loving him..memories keep flashing back of us playing and laughing..it isn’t my fault I fell so hard..”
“I fell hard for you too..I had to tell my brother to leave you..”
I bit my lips
“You have been great. I wish I could love you back!”
“You can..just look into my eyes. That’s all”
I look into his eyes like he said. I saw feelings, love ,emotions, hatred for Barry, concern, if I loved him the way i loved Barry. I had always thought that I could love my age group, Jade was my age mate and still I fell hard for Barry. Jade is sweet..but ..Psst what to do..Barry has my heart. Although Jade was mending the patches Barry has torn. But it didn’t make my heart melt.
He is funny. He is troublesome. He is popular. He is handsome. He’s the red haired guy. Mu celebrity crush. But not compared to my husband.
He brought his lips closer as our lips collide. He had kissed me. I had suspected he would do that. I kissed him back too. Breaking it will hurt him. I would also have been so hurt if Barry broke our kiss yesternight.
I was hurt. But I wouldn’t let him get hurt too.
Hint on next chapter:
Boo! Barry was watching the kiss!
I’ll move on
Watching the kiss was actually the most painful thing
Not really painful, but seeing her make out with Jade after a little fight hurts.
We were supposed to settle our differences. Not go out on a date with someone. She claimed she really loved me hun? And all she does is go out with whom her mother signed contract with
Come to think of it. I feel anger inside of me. I have been waiting for long. Waiting for her to come home. I had to stay home to think of a way I could settle this. To think of us! It was already time for her to come back from school and i still can’t find her. Now she was coming by this time. Late at night, with a boy? I stood by the gate to wait for her as i watched. She was going to come in anyway.
If I didn’t stop the kiss, he won’t so I stopped. We both stared at ourselves again
“Come on . Run along. You’re late!”I said to him
“Thanks!”he whispered “..this means a lot to me..”he said again and then waved a bye and entered his car. I watched him drive off. Nicest guy I’ve ever seen.
I turn back to hi inside and my leg seized as I saw Barry at the gate. He had an expression I could not read and i hoped he didn’t see us kiss!
I moved towards the gate to enter the house ignoring him
“Teens love hun?”he asked as I entered inside
Oh! He had saw the kiss!
I walked on ignoring him again. And the loud sound of the gate made my heart skipped. Why would he jam it with so much force.
“We need to talk”I heard him say as i entered the sitting room
Talk about what? Me living him? Hell no.
I head upstairs and he pulled me back.
“Leave me alone Barry!”I yelled at him
He dragged me from the stairs back to the sitting room
“I just want to talk to you!”
“And i don’t want to talk to you”I yelled again and he made me sit on the table while he sat in the chair.
“But I want to talk to you”he snapped. I keep quiet.
He sighed. He was opposite me, holding my hands together so I won’t leave, it made my heart beat very fast. It skipped all the time my eyes meet his. I font want to talk to him. I font want to cry again. Jade had made me really happy today. I don’t want to experience another heart break with his words .
“Vee..”his voice trailed and choked.
I look up to stare at him. He was full of emotions and string at him this way made a tear drop. I tried to remove my hand to rub it off but he held me firmly.
“Keep Crying Vee..”his voice lost in his word. “Stop hiding those tears Vee. It won’t change a thing”
“Leave me alone Barry!”i struggled as tears rolled, each having a race on who first get to my cheek .
“Jennifer is my childhood friend..and even Victor knows about her..I really really like her and I’ve promised myself to ask her out when I have the courage. And..i did..right in front of you..”
“It’s no problem!”I tried to stand up but he out my back to sit
“I love you okay..I mean..who wouldn’t love you..you love that person you’re always happy to see right?..always dying to her her voice..that’s love right?…but Jenny..she’s..a long time..she knows about me well…i had dreamt we would be perfect together”
“Just Shut up Barry!”I screamed at him
He kept quiet and stared at me as tear rolled from his eyes
I was shocked
This was the first time I saw Barry cry.Why was he crying. He was in tears
He quickly used his hand to rub his tears nd I used mine to rub my tears too.
“I would never hurt you on purpose Violet!”he cried as more water streamed down. All I want to do right now is wipe his tears for him. I really love this man
“We had the best relationship, you are my best companion, I would never dream to hurt you!”
I know that’s true Barry
“But if I did…”he sniffed “..please forgive me Violet”he cried and held my hands again. The tears just kept running on my face.
What to do?
“Please forgive me..”he pleaded again and rested his head on my lap. I vibrate as his tear touch my skin and my heart melt. He’s sorry for hurting me. Sorry for not lying me?
How am I supposed to respond to that. I could not just forget Barry like that. I could not. But with all he had just said. It was clear we both need to move on. He wants to be with Jennifer and he’s sorry he hurt me.
But I don’t want to leave Barry. I never want to leave him. How could I leave the one person ive fallen in love with. I looked down at him. He was still in tears whispering I’m sorry. He was in my lap..like a mother to son. I move my hand to his hair as I ruffled it the way he does mine. That would be what I’ll miss the most. I carresed his hair little by little and I don’t know when I burst out in loud tears, he put his hands round my waist and tighten it as I continued crying
Both of us crying.
I cleaned my tears with the back of my palm and sniffed.
“I have not forgiven you Barry..”he raised his head up. His eyes hot and ref
“But.. you’re good to propose and marry Jennifer. I’ll stick to my school. After all in immature and still have two years to finish college, then I can look for a job, don’t worry I’ll be 19 by then, start working at 20, get married at 23.. You can go on with your life. I’ll move on..and anyway. I called our lawyer about the divorce. Hes coming over to our house to finalize it And tell us when we are going to court.. “I stand up from the table and walk upstairs to my room.
Okay. That was a lie. I never called any lawyer today. I am just about to..
He had made up his mind. And so have I..
I think a divorce is okay.
No it’s not!😭